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There are also special techniques for beefing up and developing your stalking abilities, even from scratch. These techniques are closely connected with Tarot cards and their use. I will discuss them much later in this book. Because first of all, before we flaunt it, we need to understand what the stalker’s hands hold, lest the decent public leave us both armless and unarmed before you can say Jack Robinson.

The previous chapter poked at things with a stick, as is customary in Russia, to explain that stalking is a branch of magic based on the Vishuddhi chakra. This type of magic appreciably differs from the stereotype of magic as we know it, so we should look at this in more detail.

Take a love spell, for example. As a rule, it works at the level of Svadhisthana, the second chakra.

Easy-peasy, as the saying goes. Take a larva and throw it at a picture of whoever it is you want to put a love spell on. This gets the mechanism unleashed: as the larva is ravenous and has no way out, it will tickle the target’s privates until Patient No. 1 comes running to Patient No. 2 to the satisfaction of everyone concerned, including the larva.

This kind of magic takes place at the level of emotions and astral interactions, taking as little as a couple of hours to produce the desired effect. But your astral plane continuously changes, taking, as a rule, less than forty days to renew completely. That’s why, unless you use Voodoo dolls, most such love spells crumble down in a month or two, though clients rarely complain (by that time, the hots will have dwindled to the vanishing point).

And the funniest thing is that under certain conditions (fistfight, war, heroism), the process runs naturally in a similar way …almost… but who can spot the difference these days?

Things are quite different with the fifth chakra, Vishuddha – it works causally. The causal level is significantly different. A love spell at this level works something like this.

1. Patient No. 1 is not doing great – say, their beloved dog has fallen sick, and they hold the dog dear as the only creature who loves and values them, bringing them deep mental and sexual gratification and a salary paid in euros.

2. It so happens that the only way to get the dog back on track is to have it healed by the One and Only, a veritable Bond, James Bond.

3. All he has to do is wave his big, kind hand, for he… you know the rest.

4. And the story would see a happy ending but the darn dog (at this point, unlike other types of magic, causal magic churns out new scenarios of “if… then,” since the previous cause is now used up and not recycled), now fully recovered from the disease, turns out to be pregnant (or goes missing or gets kidnapped by the Criminals as the unique descendant of the dog bred by the legendary… add salt, sugar, and species to taste).

5. And, strange though it may seem, help can only come from him as he happens to be into canine obstetrics, working exclusively with the dogs he operated on, or to know someone he went to school with who works at a detective agency, and it’s a sheer coincidence that today he’s having those Criminals over for his birthday party, and they promised they’d give him a dog for a gift…

6. When the whole thing turns full circle three or four times, the patients take to staying overnight at each other’s houses, sharing beds, to spare themselves the trouble of coming over, or start to thrash violently in the trap of Karma, viciously tearing off their bodies everything sticking to them. Those too stubborn and stupid end up with their heads ripped off (basically, they don’t need those useless things anyway).

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